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I am reading a really interesting book at the moment – distressing and happy in it’s own way… The Winter of our Disconnect by Susan Maushart. Maushart, a mother of three teenagers, bans screen technology from the house for six months to help them all discover “real life”. I’m reading it as part of a feature I’m writing for JUNO about technology and I recommend it as an easy-to-read reflection on how screen technology has sculpted a family’s life, and what happens when you switch it all off. Do you read books that you know will distress you? Our latest book club choice was Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay, but I didn’t read it. I didn’t even open it. Because one of the mums started reading it before me and told me it was so distressing it had kept her awake at night. I decided I could do without that extra level of anxiety, from something that was supposed to be pleasurable, so chose not to read it. But should I? The book is about Jews in wartime France, a mother separated from her children. You know this is not going to be pleasant. But am I wrong to wimp out of reading their stories, of thinking and empathising and learning from the past? Or is it okay not to want to think about being dragged apart from my children in that context? One member of book club asked if we could find a “happy book” for our next choice. Can anyone recommend anything that is happy without being trite? Lucy Pearce is a mummy, writer and blogger. We have “met” through her role as contributing editor of JUNO. Lucy lives in Ireland so we’ve never actually met, or even spoken on the telephone. Our relationship has developed over the last year by email and blog. It’s got to the stage when I’d now almost be nervous to meet or speak to her, because it wouldn’t match the Lucy in my mind. We know lots of quirky details about each other and our families. Lucy is brave in sharing aspects of herself through her writing. She was interviewed recently on Artisantopia. It’s a fascinating piece about motherhood and creativity. I particulary enjoyed: How has becoming a mum hindered or changed your creativity? “As the kids arrived into my life in quick succession (I am only 31, my kids are 6, 3 and 1). This has been a learning curve in itself. Whilst all my friends were building careers, developing their creativity, I have been mothering. And so I have had to shift my timetable and expectations of myself – both as a creative and a mother. And have felt freer to improvise a life which combines both. My children provide so much learning for me and if it were not for them I would not have either the time, lifestyle, creative inspiration, or be the person I am, to be able to write my stuff. So I keep reminding myself that they will not be young forever and not to waste these precious years. But I need my head-space and physical space and I find the constant being needed of three little kids very challenging. My writing keeps me sane. I write because I have to! Having kids forces you to become more balanced, not to burn yourself out too often, and it ensures that you keep coming back to the present moment. I won’t pretend that I don’t find it deeply frustrating when my head is in a writing project, the ideas are flowing, and a child comes whinging and hassling me for a milk shake or a story. But I really try to keep my impatience to a minimum – because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have had this time to gestate my creative self. I wouldn’t have so much joy, beauty and fun in my life, I wouldn’t have all the writing inspiration they provide. Without their arrival I wouldn’t be the “me” I am today. And though I explain to them about my work, they don’t really understand, or care. In their minds, Daddy is the one who works because he goes to meetings. Mummy just ignores them by being on her computer. And I feel bad about that sometimes. But I know deep in my heart, that (perhaps ironically) in order to be really present, really loving and fun with them, I need to do my work – my personal and professional work. So we keep a mutual respect there for each other and our needs. They can see I am nicer and more patient when I have done my work. And I feel less guilty because I am there in body, if not always in mind. They have their mother physically here. And in a moment I am with them too if they need me. In the past, mothers didn’t spend every moment of every day entertaining their children – the kids would be helping in the house, or playing outside. So I get myself off some guilt that way! And I know that in all I learn through my work, I get resources both inner and outer which enrich our lives together infinitely – craft books, knowledge about the role of oxytocin, child brain development, local food, dealing with sleep and eating issues, gentle behaviour techniques. All this and more which I would not be as immersed in if I were not doing my creative thing.” I also loved this quote, which I can very much relate to: “My life is woven of multiple strands, on multiple levels, and each is a crucial part of the whole tapestry. If I leave one part untouched for too long a hole emerges in the fabric of my life. I find it mostly manageable because it is inner directed and home based.” Lucy is fascinating in her honesty with what she shares. I admire how she combines all the strands of her life – doing lots of amazing creative activities with her children at the same time as writing some inspiration articles, all on very little sleep. You can read the whole interview here, find out more about Lucy on her blog Dreaming Aloud and read her column each issue in JUNO.
Winter JUNO has been published this week and we are very proud of it. It’s now 80 pages long, full of inspiration for the mind and soul with articles on Seasonal Celebrations – ways to celebrate that don’t involve obsessive commercialism; Crafting for Good; EFT; fantastic crafts with snow and ice and HypnoBirthing, illustrated by a striking picture by Annett E. Bank, who is interviewed in the magazine. We also introduce you to the brilliant Mr Roberelli who make fun music for children that all can enjoy. You can buy single issues or subscribe on www.junomagazine.com. A Mr Roberelli cd is the subscription gift with this issue.
This resonates with my editorial for the Winter issue of JUNO, published 1 December. Preparing that issue I thought about ways to celebrate Christmas without being sucked into obsessive commercialism; how can we nurture our souls and enjoy family time without being drained by buying, wrapping and card writing? Lucy Pearce has written on her Dreaming Aloud blog about how she tries to support women’s craft and creativity. She features “beadies”, made by Jacqui in Uganda. Jacqui makes colourful beads by rolling up thin strips of paper and dipping them in resin then threading them into long strings. I discovered her necklaces by meeting Susannah who founded Fingerprints in Uganda, a charity supporting women and families like Jacqui in Uganda. I am proud to be featuring the beadies in the Natural Gifts feature of Winter JUNO – at £5 a string they are a beautiful gift, a gift that is also helping someone elsewhere in the world.
So far this year I am achieving my aim of staying relaxed and not becoming sucked in to stressful shopping and panic buying. On reflection, I do believe that careful choices about what I buy and from where is the reason – just entering a shopping centre a few weeks ago made me anxious about what I ought to be buying and I was annoyed to see signs in a garden centre this week saying “all you need for a perfect Christmas”. This perpetuates the idea that if you spend money, you’ll have the picture-perfect Christmas day. As some of the Christmas trees on sale were £200, I feel sure that some people will be spending money they don’t have, only to be disappointed that their Christmas was not the idealised time they thought they’d paid for. I am trying to stay out of the shops and away from hype and commercial temptation. Of course it all looks nice; there are wonderful “things” to buy. But will it make Christmas any happier?
This is the backdrop Nature provided to Sharon Jackities storytelling in the JUNO tent at Embercombe’s Apple, Pumpkin and Pizza family day on Sunday. As the late afternoon sun hit the tent it created a striking sillhouette of a fruit tree, providing a magical atmosphere for Sharon’s stories. Embercombe is a sustainability centre, set in a remote valley north of Exeter. I felt as though I had dropped out of the world; just the respite and time to reflect I needed. Click here to read more about the day. JUNO will be involved at Embercombe’s Storytelling Festival in August 2012. Interesting article in today’s Sunday Times Style magazine, Adele Parks writing about “stay at home mums”. The best part was her conclusion: “We’re all doing our best. Let’s understand and respect each other’s choices.” I’ve decided that the best thing about school is the weekend. I don’t mean that in a wholly negative way, but because it’s a contrast. Our eldest son currently has some issues about school, so we’ve all been feeling disillusioned. Then a beautiful book lands on my JUNO desk The Rhythm of Family: Discovering a Sense of Wonder through the Seasons by Amanda Blake Soule. She writes about slowing down with the family with simple but nurturing ideas – like taking a walk on the first day of each season to take note of changes around them and in their children. This book could be perceived as nauseating, depicting an ethereal family life; but I didn’t take it like that. Soule recognises reality “it’s so very easy in our busy days and busy lives…to feel overwhelmed by our tasks at home.” What I did get from this book was further disillusionment with school and how it dictates the pace and schedule of our lives. This week I have felt that we are so constrained by demands of school that all the thing we might want to do get crushed into weekends and holidays. But then I’ve thought, if we had freedom every day, would the enjoyment fade? Would I feel claustrophobic with no adult time for silence, work or thinking, or simply doing housework without questions, noise and queries? So I’m trying to embrace the school week for what I’m enjoying now: Friday afternoons. It’s the weekend, a time for change of pace and the wonderful sense of freedom. Coming home after school on Friday is such relief (and the school run this afternoon was especially horrendous with nowhere to park and grid lock thanks to a coach far too big for our little village). Today the children got the lego out. It’s still all over the floor as there’s no reason to tidy up. We’ve no deadlines; no spellings to practise; no cares about what sports kit or harvest gift we must not forget tomorrow; no worries about whether school uniform is clean and dry or still screwed up in a ball on the floor. This is the best thing about school right now – the joy of Friday afternoon.
I was therefore very excited when we discovered this recipe for Beetroot and Walnut hummus. M agreed to try it because it’s described as “a revelation for people who claim not to like beetroot”. It was delicious, a beautiful colour, and did not taste like beetroot. M really liked it, so we’ve found a great way to enjoy our beetroot glut. Recipe taken from River Cottage Everyday, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Serves Four 50g walnuts 1 tablespoon cumin seeds 25g stale bread, crusts removed 200g cooked beetroot, not pickled, cut into cubes 1 tablespoon tahini, sesame seed paste 1 large garlic clove, crushed juice of 1 lemon sea salt and pepper a little olive or rapeseed oil (optional) Put the walnuts on a baking tray and toast in an oven preheated to 180 c for 5-7 minutes until fragrant, leave to cool. Warm a small frying pan over medium heat. Add the cumin seeds and dry fry them, shaking the pan almost constantly until they start to darken and release their aroma – this should take less than a minute. Crush the seeds with pestle and mortar or grinder. Break the bread into small chunks, put in a food processor with the walnuts and blitz until fine. Add the beetroot, tahini, most of the garlic, a good pinch of the cumin, half the lemon juice, a little salt and a good grind of pepper, then blend to a thick paste. Taste the mixture and adjust it by adding a little more cumin, garlic, lemon, salt/pepper, blending again until you are happy with it. Loosen with a dash of oil if you think it needs it. Refrigerate if required but serve at room temperature. I have been wanting to share this for ages, but time just runs away with me. There is so much I would like to do but so little time…I’ve started a book today that is being featured in the next JUNO – In Praise of Slow by Carl Honore. The chapter I’m next to read is about our relationship with time. I’ll report back. I’ve wanted to share a poem by Hollie McNish. It was commissioned by Woman’s Hour for WOW (Women of the World) Festival 2011. The poem is a defiant call to society that women should not be ashamed of their bodies as they are; a salute for us to feel proud of our bodies; to celebrate the imperfections as cherished marks of what our bodies have achieved. Hollie says “It was inspired by my baby daughter and her absolute love for her body. I wish we all had that.” The words are below, but if you are able, take the time to listen as I think the message is all the more powerful through the cadence of Hollie’s voice: http://holliemcnish.bandcamp.com/track/wow WOW! |
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